I've blown a few things in my day
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
