Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
