he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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