Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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