Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
