we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
