How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Randomize
