he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
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