he shaved USA in his pubs
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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