So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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