Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize