A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
