just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
