Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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