he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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