i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
