Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
