in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
