Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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