it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
It's rum buckets o'clock
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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