meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
as a side note pls kill me
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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