i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
What a dumb baby whore.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
