Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
