If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
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