So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
you made out with another girl for some wings
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
