We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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