Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
