yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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