I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
operation have a gay friend backfired
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
