he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
