I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
