She's JV to your varsity
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
