His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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