dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
