im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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