She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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