In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize