He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
