so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
