Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
