im drinking this country out of the recession.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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