is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
the day after is always just damage control
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
