just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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