I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
