Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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