I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
