Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
