I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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