he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
