fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I want to have your abortion
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
