I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
