Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
