So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
