I heard we made out
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
