Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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