All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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