Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
