I'm really into asian looking animals
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
