FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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