I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
