hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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