so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
