I'm jealous of your bromance
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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